Friday, Jul 9th, 2010 --You probably aren't as easygoing as you were yesterday because quicksilver Mercury trines electric Uranus, shocking your nervous system with outlandish thoughts. Some of your current ideas may be truly brilliant but they cannot take form unless you choose to nurture them. Get your required tasks out of the way so you have sufficient time to develop your unconventional inspirations. --tarot.com
HAHA! Oh yes yes yes! I have funny ideas. BUT. ^^
Anyway my lovely sis asked me out to Ikea yesterday. Then my mom pissy so she only let me out today. Actually she thought I was gonna do my school stuff but I went to Ikea anyway.
LOL.
I am going to buy 1. towels 2. candles 3. soft toys 4. bedspreads
when I have money.
I am currently very broke. *sad
Sis treated me chicken wings! *happy Thanks sis! ^^ But our Ikea visit was so short. -.-
Swedish pronounciation of Ikea: Ee-kee-ah (Some Singaporeans, plus my parents) Americans : Eye-kay-uh/ Eye-key-uh US/UK/AUS (Mainly Europe) : Ee-kay-uh (Most of us say this. I think.)
Thursday, Jul 8th, 2010 --You become disoriented now if you must focus your thinking on the mundane world, especially when you are happier to consider more spiritual pursuits. While there is nothing wrong with being a metaphysical guru, it's still important to keep up your appearances on the job. You'll be able to continue exploring parallel dimensions of reality today, as long as you don't attract any undue attention. --tarot.com
Exploring parallel dimensions of reality.
I was really really affected by the guy(woman?) yesterday. I mean, throughout dinner and till I got home I kept wanting to cry. Okay its really pathetic to cry outside but I can't help being haunted (and traumatised, yes) by what he said to me.
I shall start from the beginning.
I needed to top up my card at the station, so I was waiting in line behind a old man. He kept trying to shove in his notes but the machine kept rejecting them. I was kinda dreaming away behind him till I realised the queue forming behind me.
Then I offered to help him and then it was okay. He went off with a 'thanks' and 'I'm going to Buona Vista'.
So after getting on the train, I realised he was in the same cabin so I was contemplating for awhile if I should go up to him and tell him to change at Jurong East instead of Raffles Place, since it was faster.
I stared at the route map for couple of mins and decided it would be mean if I ignored him and let him take the much-longer route. So at the risk of looking weird, I got up and walked to him and tried explaining to him why he should take the other direction.
Which failed, cos he said it didn't matter how long it took cos he had no where to go.
So I was quite embarrassed and I left and walked to another cabin and sat down.
Then after a couple of stops he followed and came up to ask if he could sit beside me. And he kept saying that I was a nice, kind person and that God would bless me.
Okay I suppose any decent minded person would have done it anyway.
Then he asked if he could talk to me. Okay, sure, why not?
"Are you from Mediacorp?"
"Uh, no, uncle no. I'm studying." (Or soon anyway -.-)
He asked me to guess what he was.
"You mean what you work as?
*he shakes his head
What you do?
*he shakes his head
Who you are?" (I mean if he asked if I was from Mediacorp maybe he was working there, or used to.)
"What I am. Something. Give you a clue. Man woman. Woman man."
"Matchmaker."
"No...I used to be a woman."
"Ohh..."
my god.
So he was tranny. Okay. But that's hardly a meet question. Or something to know at introductions.
He started telling me abt himself.
And the gist of it is the lives alone. He doesn't work, has no family because his parents cast him away when they knew she wanted to be a man. Nobody wants him because he is neither here nor there. Prostitutes shun him too. Even though he wanted to pay them a thousand. He drinks because he doesn't want to think of his life.
I told him to go get a job. And he says his doctor says he is not fit to work for 6 months.
And he kept saying he was alone.
He said he would've killed himself, but he believes in God and so cannot commit suicide.
I tried to assure him that God was there and looking after him, but even I was not convinced. His God certainly isn't looking after him. Nor giving him any comfort or solace in anything. God had plans, yadda yadaa, whatever man. tell me another one.
"I don't know, why me? It didn't do anything, I didn't ask for this, I didn't choose this! Why God made me like this I don't know."
Then he said I was kind, had a good attitude and was very beautiful. And I would find a good husband and have a beautiful family and be very happy.
For now, simply showing up and being real is sufficient to keep your day on track. --tarot.com
Well sorry guy if I'm always MIA nowadays. It might seem like I'm in some trouble/depressed/avoiding people, or all of the above, but I seriously need time to myself.
The much talked-about, much revered alone time.
I'm tired of people thinking they know me. All the funny assumptions that is never a league near the truth. The closest someone can claim to know me and how I feel is Pamela.
"I mean...I can't believe it! It's like she's such a...biatch." "Biatch. Yea I know."
Lol.
I'm not depressed. Even if I were, I don't need to withstand another interrogation about whether or not I was depressed.
Don't assume I'm sad. Even if I were, does it matter? Hearing myself admit I'm sad is just plain sad, if you ask me. And the only thing it achieves is make me sadder because I am sad.
And fyi, I am not sad.
^^
Dinner out just now was awesome! But the furniture shopping was lol. XD Zj is crazy. Trying to buy furniture in town. HAHAHA
Why hasn't my Fyrinnae primer come? I am positively depressed.
On a side note, my hair is BLACK now! yayy
Pamela totally missed it even though I was smsing her whole day bout it.
And Edmund Btss Chua kept saying I look like cheena! -.- I hate you.
Lol.
Where got cheena, huh, huh? I dyed my hair to match my eyes! ^^
Sorry ah I don't have anyone else's photos cos of Pamela's imba DSLR.
I feel so bullied when I'm at home! After doing so much nonsense I went into my dad's room and he said I have to help my mum do the housework. *shoots me dirty look
I WASHED THE CAR TOO.
*Bestows maid-of-the-day on myself
On a random note.
I look like an elf! HAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHHA ok unlike Pamela I shall have to ask for lesser people to read my blog if I'm gonna post weird photos.
For the Week of Jun 28th, 2010 --A sweet Pisces Moon Friday invites imagination and tenderness. The mood shifts on Saturday when Luna zips into adventurous Aries where the taste for new experiences provokes impulsive behavior that's exciting but, perhaps, a little reckless. There's nothing wrong with taking chances, but don't go so far astray you can't find your way back. --tarot.com
Can I find my way back? Do I want to? Maybe its time to move on and let go, instead of standing still.
Fyrinnae - Shipment Info
Order Shipped #100630-090640-8354 Your order placed on Jun 30 2010, 09:06 AM has been shipped. If you're in the U.S., you'll find the delivery confirmation link in this email.
*Laughs wildly.
I love Fyrinnae! They have samples for you to choose from. That time I ordered the Velvet Silica Gel Primer, Velvet Gel Primer for Dry Skin and Pixie Epoxy. The last two I gave Pam. Then they had a free sample too! Delvian. Which is very much like the color of the (see above) Fyrinnae- Shipment Info thing that color.
Very very pretty, except that the consistency is a bit weird. (Pam, like your anna sui one!) I sticks mostly on the applicator, aka Your Finger. Or any other eyeshadow applicator you use.
Then you use it wet, but mostly on your finger as well. But Fyrinnae's website says you gotta pat it on. Which means yes, you get the color, but you have to have superb skills patting even amounts on even parts of the lid. TIRING TTM.
Let's just go back to my gold Faceshop-Birthday-Present eyeshadow. Much much more awesome.
But I love the Velvet Gel Silica Primer! It smells a bit funny. But I don't have problem applying it, nor does it give me a whitish cast as so many reviewers said they had. I guess cos my face is alr super pale.
But I can apply makeup so much easier with it! It just goes on super smooth. And very easy to blend. It contains 50-60% micro silica spheres so its supposed to smooth out the face, less lines. pores etc. For me it didn't really seem to help in oil control or minimizing pores or whatever. But I love it just cos it helps me apply makeup so much easier.
So I ordered another Velvet Gel Silica Primer and its coming!! :D Their packaging is super cute too! I shall take pictures of them when they arrive.
I need a new wallet! Who wants to accompany me to get one?
I haven't got a proper wallet since my Italian baby got stolen.
STOLEN.
How can someone commit such an atrocious act, I ask you?
Money is one thing, memories another.
So...
I lost my train of thought after the damned door slammed shut. And Sugar is still happily sleeping!
Lol
Reminds me of that time during As she came over to study. I was telling her the sun always makes me sleepy. Then she had a 'Really?' face as if she never heard of sth so ridiculous.
10secs later guess who's knocked out on my couch. Lol!
Okay I feel slightly weird blogging about her while she's beside me. Unconscious, no less, but still beside me. Lol
Anyway its going to rain soon, and we all know. Nothing beats sleeping in rainy weather.
Okay for me, rain or shine la. I don't care.
Have flat surface, will sleep.
^^
I now know this: Happiness is a state of mind. Nothing else.
I feel like I'm in the future and nothing I do ever matters or affects me in a tangible way anyhow. It's like my real self is still somewhere behind in the real world, trying to catch up. So no matter what I do or see now it doesn't matter. Because only what happens to the real me matters. I don't suppose my real self is gonna catch up anytime soon, nor will it ever. So why not enjoy the inhibitions and ecstasy bestowed from the thought of being two separate entities and live in the now?
Live in the present , remember the past, and fear not the future, for it doesn't exist and never shall. There is only now.
