So i'm sitting here right now, and i can hear little kids playing, and the loud, "Open numbers!".
I don't know, but it seems so long ago and a far off memory of when I was young and used to play like that too. It feels like I'm watching my own life as a third party. Through someone else's eyes.
The feeling? Detached, and with just a tinge of wistfulness.
I know how we always say life is short and how it just zooms past us when we're busy and so caught up in doing what we have to do. But when i think back on life so far, i really wonder what I've been doing.
Not that it's full and rubbish and totally unproductive, in fact, it might be the other way round. But productive in what sense? Which aspect of life is worth the input? Emotional? Social? Mental? To what extent is it considered satisfactory? What gauges how accomplished one is? Tangible, accountable successes? Spiritual, mental maturity? Or plainly just level of happiness one experiences throughout one's life? Then what is considered being happy? We're all different and so won't our standards about happiness be different? Then how can we say we are truly happy? Or, in other cases, not happy? Since we are the ones who determine our own level of self-development, life satisfaction and sanity, shouldn't we be allowed to choose exactly what we want to do? Where do parents come in then? Since they know almost all the procedures of life (don't they?) they can almost be trusted to make the best decisions for us, in all our best interests? What then, is the best? And to whom, is it the best? Whose interest is this in? Ours? Or theirs? But we might not make sound decisions for ourselves now; we're basically still learning, so we're still dependant on our parents. But after life as a teenager, then what? Do we go on to pursue what we truly want? How many people actually do that? How many poeple have the courage and determination to do that?
