Monday, October 5, 2009
What's the point of asking if I'm okay?
I'd say I'm fine,
regardless of hell I feel.
I'm living a lie and I'm pretty sure I'm dead.
Not literal but close.
It's all gone.
Luckily I'd had some time with Pam today.Walking ard reminded me of Czech again. Yay. I really appreciate you understanding exactly how I feel. Because everyone else trivialises it. I'm not one who dwells on anything, but some things have gotta be given due respect. Thankyou fag. Dinner was a good BFF(^.^) session and major indulgence.
I am not melodramatic.
I think I have some of the most selfless people ard me.Thanks. But its making me feel really bad. I gotta pull myself tgt soon.
Self-absorbed people are so saturated with themselves,
they've no space for others.
Look people, spare me the theatrics.
I know it seems pretty fun (or funny) to hide behind your computer and slam people, manipulating with videos or fonts and being all smarty about choice of words. But seriously, we're not fazed.
Grow up, please?
You'd think at 18 we'd know how to behave. Well, noooo, we gotta snoop ard resorting to name-calling to seek attention. Well goodluck and congratulations! Because you're here. But no one will talk abt it, so sorry, or ignore anyone for it because you are simply, insignificant.
You wanna say just desserts?
Stick it in your milkshake and eat it.
People, I've abandoned my phone. Call my house at 67654321.
Press 1 for the Living Dead, 1 again for the Numb, and 3 for Distraught.
"No, not distraught, you mean schizophrenic."
-Stranger Than Fiction
You have forced me to say this.
I am in a state where I just broke up(regardless if we were tgt) so if you think my life is free and easy and happy while you live in agony, go ahead and whine. I'm not self-absorbed, and I know a crisis when I see one. (Pam, and Castro, so sorry I've been self-absorbed and selfish. I should pull myself tgt and not leave you alone. I know some things are very difficult to handle alone and I haven't been there.)
I have been nice but at my own expense. Even I realise it. You're right. Everyone looks out for themselves first. I'm just not typical enough and too stupid for my own good. (Yes I've so many people shouting "Stupid!" at me. In one week, I'd gotten 4 smacks,with 2 on the head for good measure and for my stupidity.Thanks. I needed to see how I lived in my own utopia.
I need to wake up but I can't!
Maybe I made myself up in my head.
Not that I'm saying me being hurt and all is much of a crisis that I can't talk to anyone abt their problems anymore. I'm glad to help but please understand me? I might start despising people for being weak if you ramble on abt how you removed your wisdom tooth and wanna kill yourself. (I sound like a spoilt brat who is so unreasonably selfish) Its just that when you ASSUME I'm fine even after I told you just went through this shit and then go on and on abt yourself, it's simply not funny anymore. When you assume you just make an ass outta me and you. (I know who gives a damn. I know who doesn't. Sorry, in matters like that, I'm sharper than anything.)
Now that I'm broke I can't buy things to cheer myself up and when people who passed say they feel like dying(are you telling me I should be hanged?) and I always tell them everything's okay. Fine if you have enough justification. Like some poor dears who did study really hard. I feel for them. But please get off your ass and do sth abt your life instead of telling me how you did not study at all but got a D when you were hoping for a C. One simple thing. I do not give a damn. So get a grip and get a life.
Thank goodness the only ones I can talk to abt grades w/o feeling like I just got thrown into a industrial sized juicer are P and Pam. (:
One thing Pamela said. "How many kids out there are worse than you? Just think of that."
Yes, that's exactly what I think when I feel that life has thrown nothing at me but rotten apples and the occasional durian. I'd think that my life is so much better than half the world's kids. And nobody owes me anything anyway.
So, I don't think I owe anybody anyway so don't take me for granted.
Once bitten twice shy,
Thrice beaten,
traumatised.
Because fyi having a worsened headache everyday is good for the temperament, believe me, and I'm developing such a constitution.Labels: dancing souls of the dancing dead
loved on 10:55 PM
