Saturday, October 11, 2008
One should really wonder if saying the most direct things will be the best for everyone.
Cos Mr How was talking to me. And he said that they'll look at the bell curve thing to see who retain. And I'm thinking okay fine, if you are meaning me, its okay.
And he said its the way things go. So i'm like, okay. So the society doesn't look at things in another way. Like I didn't go for PAE. I went to Italy. Choir members got back a Grand Prize, but who cares. Studied during June hols to catch up but still failed mid years. Did all my tutorials when I had time but so what. Got a B for math but might be a fluke shot.
They see that I fail my common tests. Don't do my tutorials and have no reason. Sleep in lectures and sulk in class.
But I pointed out to him. There are people who fail like crap, but promote. Pass a H2 but retained. Why, if the system is meritocratic? They see who, to put it bluntly, even unkindly, suck up to teachers. (you might be thinking, why am I so horrible)
Alright I have seen students who put in so much effort. Just that they are not in the habit of socialising with teachers. They appear to be arrogant, snobby and even donwnright rude. But they stay up late to mug, ask their tutors when in doubt, and basically take their education just as seriously, if not more then the others who are always running after teachers. Yes the teachers see these students as people who don't ask for help. But tell me, if the teachers look at you, incredulous that you don't understand, would you continue to keep asking them?
Well the types of people who are gonna get promoted
1. Smarty pants
2. Scraping-bys but still pass, on the average
3. I-study-so-hard-I-appear-to-take-studies-seriously-but-I-just-messed-up-this-0nce-please-let-me-promote
I am so cynical. But I won't say sorry cos i'm horrid. haha
But I'm just gonna say what I think. There are people who care a lot about studies. If they don't look for their tutors, perhaps the tutors should evaluate if they themselves have been encouraging enough for these students to look for them.
Ah enough ranting, life isn't fair anyway. You climb to the top of the coporate lader but you don't always get the post cos the boss might be busy getting acquainted with that skank down the corridor. Appearance vs reality huh.
Zongyi said that Jc life changes a person. Hmm. I think it just shows me a more realistic picture. The truth always hurts. Just retain your sanity and that's more than you should ask for. After all, no one owes you anything. NO ONE. Just wake up.
I keep thinking I want to go join Elizabeth down under cos my dad won't mind. But would I be happier there? I would be utterly selfish and a right twit if i run off without thinking of my friends. They make my day in school much brighter and many times, I would just sink through the floor and disappear if not for them. Many make my life beautiful, and my classmates are such wonderful people. Carissa has been the sweetest classmate, and Leon the most wonderful choir mate and good friend.
During the forum, I wanted to say something during the feedback time (I didn't cos there wasn't time as lots of people were asking very constructive questions like, questioning the architecture and cleanliness and even the welfare of stallholders. And I had wanted to raise the point about the possibility of a sheltered walkway from the main gate to school, but nvm.)
And Carissa actually said, "Oh, go say it! I'll support you. I can go with you." And she said its normal for classmates to do that. Hmm, normally I would get responses like, "Uh okay...go la." Or "I see. Okay. Byebye." Okay whatever I don't wanna go into my lack of social skills.
And Leon cheered me up countless times. Sometimes he does so much I'll be scared that Daughter will be angry but he just says, no la, I do so much more for her.
I shouldn't complain anymore. I'm kinda tired. Mom didnt let me go to the choir performance tonight. Can't blame her.
I hope for all the best for everyone. Love you all no matter what.
Ps: Anderson sec has had two suicide cases this year. Why, my dear juniors? Life doesn't suck so much. Well...nvm. Even if you wanna die think of those who care about you and reflect on what a selfish nitwit you would be. Yeap. They put in so much for you, yet you become so melodramatic and then go kill yourself. Dude, life is perhaps unfair for you but you are being unfair to those who care.
Labels: he knew she didn't care but then again neither did he.
loved on 11:39 AM
