Ng,
You have a real lucky charm hiding in your astrological chart right now. You can use your influence with others in the workplace to push for bigger budgets, more responsibility, more control over working conditions that are important to your well being.
-fb
I just need more money, honey. (: Oh, and Angela frm the workplace, she keeps calling others dear and such terms of endearment. Oh god, I might start doing it soon.
Okay I always know P says that looking at horoscopes is kinda silly. It's like, if you think sth happy is gonna happen, then chances are, it will. And if it tells you your day is gonna suck, it'll just suck. See how he's into that whole psych thing? But there's another problem. I mean sometimes you start out a fabulous day thinking that nothing can go wrong. Usually fate is funny and the ironic thing is, the day will suck. And suck big-time.
So I kind of agree with what Pam said before. Sometimes people start out with lower expectations for the day. So when it's good, you feel better. And if its bad, you just say, "C'mon, you knew it wasn't gonna be fabby tip-top so just get over it. It's just one day."
Expectations.
Again.
Not that I'm starting out 2010 with low or no expectations. I just don't wanna go with my star sign anymore. I'm not gonna be floaty and dreamy and idealistic. It's oftentimes stupid and irrelevant. And hurtful. So...realistic is key. I mean, be more practical, see more of what's right ahead instead of always looking up and down left and right. Most times I'm looking in the wrong direction anyway. For things that aren't gonna, and will never happen.
This is a solemn entry indeed. With no photos either. Well, apparently they had a contest in god-knows-where, where they asked contestants to send in what they would want the next decade to be called. We had the fifties, sixties, seventies, and fabulous eighties. The winning entry suggested the new decade be called "One-der"
For all that turbulence we've been through, a miracle name has to be given for a new start. I was just wondering...what about the 2nd year? Toodle?
Haha and I've read P's blog that Sugar read all her journal entries. Lol. I think it's a cool way to see what went right or wrong. But I'm not gonna do that la! I'd die. Not from sheer length, but the immensely intense emotions. -.- Its a new start! Like I told Ed on the way back from Nelmy's that I'd already forgotten everyday before Jan 1 2010. Not literally, you understand, just...like that.
Some might think like, hell, no, you're just gonna run away? Nope. For every thing I met, I had met it head-on and rammed myself into it, gotten mangled, then walked out. Or if I couldn't walk out I trusted Pam enough to get me outta there. Thank god for her. That was instead of my usual, fishy (piscean) way of running away. I'd had so many running away dreams that spelled out to me, exactly, word for frickin word,what I was running away from. Straighforward, simple dreams that needed no interpretation but itself.
I rmbed how terrifyingly clear some dreams were. I didn't know I had subconsciously thought a person was pretentious until I saw her in horrifying entirety, where she threw me a wad of 1000 dollar notes, a black couture gown (don't ask me), and a white chest, and told me, in no uncertain terms, she wanted me to leave. Then she shoved me into a room and ordered me to put it on, and that I had to leave immediately after that. I put the gown on, took the chest, threw the money in her face, and ran out. It was so frickin cold and it was raining and all. So I ran down a street filled with cars with ghost drivers, slipping, yet miraculously not breaking my ankles running in 4.5inch heels in the rain. And I didn't know anyone who could help me, because they looked strangely detached from the environment. Did years of hard living make people like that? I only recognized one face. And when I stopped and looked the person in the eye, the person said nothing, but simply looked away. It was clear to me that I could either give in again, or leave the person. After a minute of looking at the side of the person's head, I turned and ran down the street, while the person suddenly turned and called me back. But I was already gone. And I would never go back again. I already made a choice in my dream. When I woke I knew who they were, what their intentions were,and what I had to do.
It's like when I told C what I dreamt during the countless breaks we ought to have been studying, she said there wasn't a hidden meaning. It was just like it was. It was plain as stupid could be.
I don't and won't say I'm a better judge of people now, or that 2010 would be any different, but I do know that sometimes, when we can hardly see, in the backs of our mind, we see the clearest, and that we already know the answer. It's just whether we admit it. Or have the courage to do what's best for ourselves.
