Cos we're friends like that
Sunday, February 21, 2010

I have met with one or two persons in the course of my life who understood the art of Walking, that is, of taking walks, who had a genius, so to speak, for sauntering.

Walk with me.



Walking by Thoreau

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loved on 5:24 PM

Thursday, October 22, 2009



MRT and kids.
You know I always encounter funny stuff and its got to do with kids.
The time a baby was bawling its head off and the Mum was all embarrassed and exasperated. Then I was standing at the side beside the door. The baby pram was just in front of me.
So the baby knocked its blanket off and the Mum bent down to pick it up.
So the baby was mid-brawl was he looked up at me and caught me giving an amused half-smile.
The baby immediately, (it was like cut off hahaha) stopped crying. Then looked away half smiling and half shy cos I caught him crying hahaha.
Omg super cute.
Then the Mum whirled up again to find that her baby had miraculously stopped crying.
Lol.


Oh and P and I were reminiscing the time the choir grp went dinner and I had a paedophilic attack (rear attack right...) and was flirty-teasing  acting-mummy-ish with a kid. He asked whose balloons and I had like 5 (lol! Vday from Brent! to class.Which I koped from the guys) so I gave one to him.
Then he was going off then I said,
"Hey boy!"
*turns back
"What must you say?" (Imagine that same tone Mum's use one kids)
Then he went, "Thankyou!"
Omg, totally made my day.
<3

Then the time when I was meeting Topless 5, w/o the Topless (Pamela) so it was just 5.
Then I rmb I had no time cos I was late (surprise, surprise) then they were all happily in SK alr.
So poor me, alice-abandoned, made my own way to Citylink's NYNY. (Yayy, usual meetup place.)
I decided to be good and bring my inorganic chem book which I (failed to) read in the mrt.
I was feeling all uncomfortable cos I couldn't stuff my booklet back in my bag, the tiny brown sling from Florence. And I was wearing my sis's yellow dress (I'm usually not bright, trust me) plus her gold sandals. And Mum's red knit throw thing. So I was itchy and late and my hair was sticking up and I was trying to study and Joanne called to complain (or laugh, or both).

Oh oh, to the point, so there was this rather cute guy in all black and cool hair at the side of the door and I stood in-front-beside him. Which is in front of the seat behind him. So there was this lil kid who was so pretty! And the guy so cute (but I digress) so I was distracted from studying. Anyway I've a thing for indian kids. No, girls. They've such hot eyes laa. She kept glaring at me though, so I didn't smile at her.

But the funny thing was this. The guy didn't stand like conventionally, butt-to-glass (sorry too crude) but was facing out. Like facing me. SO the kid started stroking the glass HAHAHA. Like his shorts or sth.Then when he looked at her with a stoned, okay-this-is-awkward face, she pouted and squeezed next to her Mum and glared at him. Lol!
Me, being uncontrolled sometimes, burst out laughing.
Then quickly fumbled and pulled out my phone and smsed Joyin, while sniggering behind my phone. Ohmygod. Lol

Then the guy turned around and started facing the other way. Then the lil girl started boxing the glass (the guy's butt) with both fists, and a furious expression on her face.
*more laughter
Oh man I shall never stand at the glass partition again. Lol



I always have such fun encounters,not like my cousin's  -Lol, SF hope you're not reading this- who had a drunk and gross guy puke beside her. Eewwww. She wasn't v specific (who would?) but I gather she did not come off very happy. Nor clean. Hahaha.
Gosh this is evil. (Bad karma! Sorry, SF)

I was supposed to wake at 7.Woke at 9. I was dreaming about shopping in Korea! And consciously decided not to wake up. I already chose stuff! And the things were so nice I wanted to look around some more. I was busy calculating from the won to sgd. How weird my dream was. Black dress for Pam. Nice keychain and softtoy for Joyin. Then a pencil for Sohmin. And another for Minhui. I still rmb how they all looked like! I was deciding between an orange or purple for Cihui and decided on purple. Then I was at the quirky toys section buying for Castro and Henry. *9 o'clock alarm. I had to wake. I'm sorry guys, I didn't get round to paying so I don't have them with me! Urgh



I think I'm happiest at night.
Before I sleep.
When I hug all my pink pillows and there's my pink bedsheet.
Pretty painting of a house I love.
Warm and safe under the covers.
The soft blanket.
Up in my high bed I've only my mind to be afraid of.
The comfort in the darkness.
I've passed another day.
The grayish black sky, cloudless.
I'm warm and secure.
I look into the skies and live the life I want in my mind.
In my unconscious I am free.
Unbound.
I'm riding this chariot to heaven.
I'm safe in my mind.



I'm damn scared.
Don't blame me for being anti-social.
I don't know, I'm sorry if I made anyone sad okay.
It's just that "nobody considers me or what I want." And "doesn't anybody ever think that my heart has been broken a million times over?"
(I just realised I quoted this w/o ze book and its word for word.) (I realise there're lots of brackets)
"I knew I sounded like a spoiled brat but I couldn't help myself."
Never Say Goodbye, Janet Quin-Harkin


"I also felt I couldn't continue like that. From the outside, I probably seemed all right, like a robot that had been fairly well programmed to behave like a human being: I hadn't made a scene, I hadn't cried, I hadn't embarrassed anybody. From my point of view, from the inside, it was a different story.
Perhaps it was a sign of success to make it through the day and then to the end of the evening without cracking up, or screaming, or having a flaming row. But that wasn't what I wanted from my life, that horrible feeling of dissociation, of acting a part that didn't belong to me, of being a person I no longer knew."
What To Do When Someone Dies, Nicci French

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loved on 10:39 PM

Thursday, September 3, 2009

For the Week of Sep 7th, 2009 -- The Moon moves into your 5th House of Romance, Fun and Games on Saturday, providing opportunities for love. Do something special with your partner, if you have one. Or set aside shyness and self-doubt to dress up, go out and strut your stuff. You're almost sure to have a great time and garner some desirable attention too
-tarot.com


Tmr's econs paper! I am feeling such a mad sense of happiness. Yes, happiness. Why am I happy? I've many reasons. None of which I know. I just like my life okay? Even as I hate my school. Hehheh ^^

I am happy-high maybe cos I've started not sleeping again. Yayy and castro showed me a lovely song by M. Oooooooohhh *swoons
See? If she was a dude I'd have fallen in love with her the moment she sang while looking at me. *melts

HAHA I realise I am currently in some weirdish state of unequilibrium. What with constantly melting and whatnot. Fangqi sang for me again ytd! *melts again

See? I fall in love with whoever sings to me. What the heck, spontaneous rxn blah blah delta G negative.

I'm delta ASS positive! I miss my ASS. Andsecsch. ):

Thanks Nelm for crazy wordspeak. Weee andsec ppl rock.

Okay since I'm v v happy, whoever sees me get free hugs! Or forced hugs if you refuse. ^.^

Aww but since I'll be mugging at home I won't meet anyone then. My happiness'll last till tmr! So whoever gets hugs too. XD

I think I'm mad, but lit students are always mad, right? Hmm...

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loved on 2:05 PM

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

I think what you said made sense.
1. Not the end of the world. Yet.
2. Others can only treat you badly if you let them.
3. You're only sad if you let yourself be.

So i shall stop with my sad posts. There are people to cheer up, talk to, stuff to mug, flowers to smell and strangers to smile at.

I have realised how a complete stranger can make your life seem so much brighter. Times when you can't tell your friends stuff because you know they have their problems too.

There was this 2 times I was walking home. So, cos of what someone said (or did) to me, I was almost gonna burst into tears walking home.

So there was this time a kid ran past me, stopped to look at me, smiled broadly, then ran off. I was just stunned. Then I smiled to myself walking home.

And the woman I saw flipping a blanket on the balcony. I think I kept staring up at the dark blue material while walking down the lane facing her block. When I was directly below the window, I looked up, and she poked her head out to look at me. Then she waved happily while I shouted "Hi!" up like, 6 storeys. It totally made me happy for the rest of the day.

Please don't get pissed that I'm sounding like my friends disregard me to the extent I derive comfort from strangers. They care a lot about me. I just don't tell all. And some stuff are too trivial anyway. But try waving to strangers. It's fun. And funny too.

I have begun sleeping properly again. *hallelujah
This time it doesn't culminate in me sleeping upside-down or using other useless gimmicky methods. Like using Piglet as my headrest- it just led to another day of headache.
Lesson learnt: Piglets should strictly just appear in photos and be used for hugging.

On to what made me sleep. Self-delusion. Yeap, mad as it sounds, it works.
1. Tell yourself all is fine.
2. For now, your problems are yours, mine is mine.
3. Don't look at the time.

Nah, I'm kidding! Self-delusion? Are you whacked? After all our day-time spent doing that, continuing it for the night won't let us sleep.
1. Breathe in and out slooowly.
2. Picture nothing. Yes NOTHING.
3. Make the space blank, or black, if you have it.
4. Push away whatever thoughts come in your mind. Yea literally push them out of your mind.
Make the space blank.
5. Just think of your breathing.
6. In...out...in...out...zzz(hopefully)

Yeap hope it helps, fellow insomniacs.


I am keeping very very happy! I don't think it's just a phase. Perry made me see things so much clearer now, thankyou. And thankyou for forcing me to see what I needed to see, but have been studiously avoiding. The truth.

Times when you're really grateful for someone who doesn't hesitate about giving you the truth. "The whole truth and nothing but the truth." -Miami Vice

Truth is a dish best served cold.

Thankyou Pam and Castro for constantly forcing me to see things too. But you guys haven't the heart to slam in right front of me. You guys are too sweet.

Thanks Leon for always making me smile. (: muaha

And not to forget, thanks to you. For always managing to ignore me. What can I do but to just push you out now. No thoughts. *pushpushpush I can finally sleep.

My tarot reading:
Queen of Swords:
When you find that you're tired of being right but alone, you can change your mind and find resolution or healing, beginning with an honest acknowledgment of the situation, along with responsible and direct communication. Grieve for your losses and accept that love isn't perfect. (omg, yea perry) An underlying belief that perfection can exist is what creates such disappointed expectations in the first place.

Nine of Swords:
if this torment is recurring, realize that it isn't about what you have done to deserve this, but more abt the natural consequences of sth you've been unable to see clearly till now. This is abt that moment of painful yet necessary realization. You know you can't go on like this anymore-- there is no going back. Inevitable change must come.

Ten of Swords:
Go out with dignity or make the inevitable changes on your own terms and you might actually feel relieved, in control and liberated. Brighter days are still ahead of you. While this may be the end of one era, it can be the beginning of another as long as you don't keep throwing yourself to the wolves in order to prove yourself or your love.

Five of Chalices:
I intend to let go of nostalgia and choose to make peace with loss or mourn to move forward. I release the rut of regret and the fear of tomorrow to make way for forgiveness, pleasure, beauty and hope. I am empowered by my conscience and my gift is forgiveness.

Sun(reversed):
suggests that you might feel unappreciated or isolated. There may also be confidence or support issues that keep you from fully committing. Keeping up appearances when the fire is almost gone (or for the sake of others)could be more abt pride, codependency or ego. You deserve to shine, feel attractive and express your passion, even if it means moving on or getting away.

Queen of Chalices:
my power today lies in intuition and drama. I trust my intuition and nurture an environment of deep devotion, patience and intense passion. I mirror my hearts desire and am never too busy to connect to those who trust, love and need me. It's the thought that counts. Many can say I would die for them--only I can live for them--spoken with sincerity by a true Drama Queen. I am empowered by embracing my emotions and unconditional love is my gift.

Ouche. I think my hand just started this weird achy thing. Ouch. Damn. Gp tmr. Ouch.

Ps: I'm addicted to burning pens.

Pps: I have a pen fetish. ^^

I'm really happy. It's laaaaaaasting.

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loved on 6:53 PM